A Day of Peace
It’s remarkable how different I feel after catching up on sleep. Today I feel calm, amused, and pleasant. I keep smiling about stuff and I feel good.
This morning, I stood outside and the weather was perfect – overcast and cool with a nice breeze. The morning air was fresh and smelled wonderful. I took a deep breath and sighed with the pleasure of that simple moment in time.
I’m wearing a purple shirt today. I always feel better when I wear purple and/or blue clothes. I have no idea why this is, but it’s just one of the odd things about me that people don’t usually hear about. Those colors are soothing to me, I think.
The calmness I feel is almost surreal. I keep expecting to get upset about thoughts or memories or feelings, but I’ve so far been able to deflect them all with a simple, “It’s okay.” I don’t know why that’s working today, but it is.
My geranium has been flowering for a couple of weeks non-stop, and I just noticed there are several more unopened flower pods. I like the woody cragginess of the plant’s stems and the red flower clusters give me an unexpectedly cheery feeling. I feel good that this particular geranium plant has lived three years already – it has been a good companion. I have an ivy plant and a ficus plant here, too, to keep me company. They both extend their climbing vines toward me like children seeking comfort, and I reach over and pat them from time to time.
I’ve been collecting pieces of wood I find alongside the path. I’m going to start whittling soon, and these odd forgotten pieces speak to me. I look at them and see that they’ve just been waiting to become something new, to become something beautiful. I’m going to make them beautiful, too. I will chip off their wind-beaten outer bark, find the beauty of their grain, carve whatever I see, and then sand them to that smoothness that makes you want to rub a carving against your cheek because it’s so perfect.
My thoughts today have been a curious investigation into fear. I don’t feel fear about following my feelings, and I sometimes forget that other people do. I forget how hard it is to take chances, and I forget that sometimes people see potential failure as a reason not to pursue potential (even guaranteed) happiness.
I feel thankful that I’m able to savor today’s happiness, even though I know it’s brief. I feel glad that I’ve learned to savor these moments of happiness, despite the difficulties that come with bad days. I feel grateful today that I have followed my heart & intuition, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone but me.
I’m glad I can feel these feelings today. I’m glad I can feel grateful for my life, even though I forget sometimes. I’m glad for these days when the world doesn’t seem to be closing in on me. Today, life is okay. That’s enough for me.