First day of 2014, already disgusted.
Ugh. I am annoyed, disgusted, and just plain irritable all around.
People annoy, disgust, and irritate me.
Not purposefully, mind you. It’s not like it matters what they do or whether I’m irritated. They obviously don’t care that their behavior is disgusting to me. Who am I? Nobody. Who are they? Nobody. Who do they think they are? Somebody. Who do I think I am? Nobody. Honestly, there’s no point in feeling disgusted by other people because it doesn’t make any difference at all in any way.
It’s just that the things that people do in such unthinking and unaware ways truly bothers me on a deep level. I don’t know why I care, or why I wish people would understand the effects of their actions, but I do. I wish people would open their eyes and recognize that their actions hurt others. I wish they could see what their shallow, judgmental demeanor and smug superiority looks like from the outside. It truly is distasteful.
Sadly, nobody cares. Any shallow, judgmental, smug person would read this post and go off in a huff, berating me in their minds and working out a long list of justifications for calling me those names.
And, really, I don’t care. I’ve started to point out people’s asshole behavior because I’m tired of just letting these people get by without any resistance, and I’m tired of the tittering fear of their cronies. I’m sick of shallow, judgmental, smug people who are always trying to force everyone else to do what they want to do and who take pleasure in upsetting others. It’s disgusting to me that there are so many of these people. It’s disgusting to me that there are so many unthinking people who follow the ringleaders. It’s disgusting to me that both tiers of these people truly believe they have some kind of right to act that way.
Now, it’s actually pretty difficult for me to admit the level of disgust I feel. Not because I feel it, but because I don’t WANT to feel it. It’s a waste of my time to feel disgust about people. Seriously, I wish I never thought about other humans, and I wish I never had to interact with these assholes. Realistically, I’ve always accepted people as they are, even when I disagree or dislike their ways – it’s just easiest to allow people to be assholes and go on about my business.
But, I am feeling disgusted today by any number of lame-ass people who make their judgments of other humans from their privileged positions of self-indulged superiority. These people are so full of themselves – they cannot see anything outside of their limited view of the world and don’t even make the effort to. Ridiculously, they stop even pretending to care about other humans the older they get – they flat out start to say things like, “I’ve been on this earth 50 years, and I’ve earned the right to my opinion.” or some similar shit… They don’t even offer up any pretense before casting their judgments and smug remarks as justified.
Ugh. Humans, why are some of you like this?
Why do I have to be one of you, around you?
Mostly, I just wish I could leave. I say this all the time. And, it’s always – ALWAYS – because of other people’s behavior that I feel like I should leave.
Where are my people? The people who are nice and kind and helpful and funny and who care about other humans and can think critically? Where are you, and why can’t I seem to find you?
Why do I always feel so alone in the world? Why am I even wasting time writing this shit?
I don’t know.
It doesn’t matter at all.
Ugh.
Same shit, new year.