New Year, New Life
As I do every year, I read back over last year’s list for what I wanted to accomplish in 2016. I see that I didn’t have high hopes for the year, and with good reason – the latter half of this year made it one of the worst years of my life. (That’s saying a lot.) I managed not to do any of the stuff I set out to do this year. I think it’s because I was so stressed out for much of the year that I totally forgot about the direction I wanted to go. Well, I am still practicing Swedish, but I’m far from an expert.
I have no idea what will happen in 2017. My world is spinning off kilter and my future feels like it is in limbo. I have a persistent case of “emotional vertigo”; every time I think I have a handle on my emotions, they betray me and I feel like I go crashing at least as gracefully as Lucille Two (Arrested Development joke, guys, I’m only like 5 years out of context on that one). When I imagine the coming year, I feel uneasy because there are so many unknown variables right now.
To Do List, 2017:
- – Get a damn job, or at least get enough web customers that I have steady income.
- – Figure out how the hell to get out of the city and onto acreage.
- – Remember to respond to people’s messages more quickly so they don’t think I’m in danger or dead.
- – Keep moving in all relevant ways.
- – Make an organized schedule for myself so that I intentionally make time for each of my ventures every week.
- – Get a propane torch for flame weeding the gardens.
- – Plant and experiment on a few more cold hardy plants.
- – Do less procrastinating.
- – Do less worrying.
- – Remember to drink water and eat.
- – Do what I can to stay alive.
- – Uhh, these are getting more generalized as I go on…
Realistically, I just want to be able to live peacefully. Historically, that is not how my life has gone. But, I don’t know, maybe I do have a vague hope that I’ll finally figure things out. Bottom line: I’m tired of feeling lost in my life. I guess, in some ways, I’m having to hit the reset button on life for the new year. From that perspective, this new year will bring me a new life, one I have not yet experienced.
So, yeah, I’m trudging over to 2017. See you there.