On Dating…
People keep asking me if I am “dating yet”.
The short answer: No.
The long answer: Nope.
The extensive explanation as to why dating is not a part of my life: No, I am not and will never be “dating yet”.
Truth be told, I’ve only actually been on one real date – the kind where both parties are dressed up and awkward because it’s so formal until they chill out enough to forget they are “on a date”. It was to a school dance at age 17 and I asked the guy if he’d go with me because I couldn’t figure out any other way to go on “an official date” with him. I hated school dances and hated dressing up, but I thought that’s what dates were supposed to be like, so I went. That was my first and last real date, and that fellow happened to be “my true love”, things didn’t work out, I never got to date him again in any other capacity because he was shipped off somewhere then I moved away, etc.
To be honest, I don’t see myself dating… EVER.
I’m not a dating person. The main reason is because I am very low-key. Ostentatiousness, pretense, falsity… not my cup of tea. If I want to get to know a person, I like to spend time becoming friends while doing regular everyday things. If I happen to like a fellow romantically, I still like to spend time becoming friends while doing regular everyday things. I’m just a regular everyday kind of person.
Since I’ve only ever actually had one relationship wherein I felt romantic feelings, and that was how my first/last date came to be, I have no idea what dating is all about.
Now, if we want to get into technicalities, I suppose it is possible to count “meeting up with a male friend and paying my own way through the day” as a date because it’s a mutually agreed upon appointment to eat and/or hang out. If that counts as a date, then I guess I’ve been on a few dates, though never dressed in any fancy manner. Most of those were with the friend I ended up marrying, anyway.
If we want to get into patheticness, I can’t even remember ever being asked on a date in terms of “Hey, do you want to go on a date?” Additionally, I’ve only ever even been asked over to anyone’s house for a friendly dinner one time in my entire life… and that was like two days ago… and I have no idea how I’m even supposed to respond because I don’t even know anything about going to other people’s houses for dinner.
In essence, I am a socially awkward and clueless noob that has no idea what normal people do during social events. I kind of just sit there and listen and respond when people are talking to me and leave when I start to feel uncomfortable, hungry, sleepy, and/or gassy.
So, no, I’m not dating.
The truth is, I don’t actually have any friends. I don’t even like shopping for clothes, so shopping for friends is very low on my list of interests. I figure that friends will come along at some point, but I’m too lazy to go looking for them. I think. I don’t know – I’ve been going places that I’d never have gone before and meeting new people who seem to want to talk to me sometimes. So maybe I am making friends. I’m kind of like, “Hmm, are these people genuine, or are they just being polite?”
I truly don’t know.
When I was a teenager, I had a few grown men try to “pick up on me”. Since I’ve never been interested in random men who are looking for sex, I just made up reasons I couldn’t give them my phone number. (Hilariously and somewhat pitifully, I’d often come upon these same special men talking about me and saying I was a “dyke”. Clearly, if I didn’t want to date them, I must be gay, right? I’d much rather be considered a lesbian than a whore, so I didn’t really challenge them on that assumption. I don’t care either way.) At this point in time, if someone asked me for my phone number, I’d hand over a business card.
And, I’m completely serious, too.
Happily, I’m a scary grown woman who isn’t “cute” or “sexy” or whatever it is that men who are looking for sex use to gauge whether or not they should approach a female to try lame one-liners on. Thus, I do not get flirted with or “picked up on”, as far as I can tell. I don’t really know what flirting is, other than from bimbo people on tv who use distasteful innuendo and have sex with people they’ve known for an hour.
Realistically, I just talk to people who talk to me, and that’s about it. I talk to an elderly woman the same way I talk to a “studly” man. People are people, and since I only initiate a conversation when I actually have something I feel it is important to say… well… I usually only actually talk to people when they talk to me first. Other than to say “hello” when I see them looking at me or something.
Who knows, I’m just rambling at this point.
Anyway, I’m not interested in sexing around town and not interested in wasting money going on pointless and/or boring dates with people I don’t know and don’t even want to know just so I can say I’m “dating”.
I’m not dating.
Leave me alone about it already.