On Changing the World…
When I think about “changing the world”, I begin to feel despondent and impotent and worthless. This is not because I don’t want to change the world for the better, but because I know I likely cannot change the world for the better. I know that I have good intentions and that I want to make the world a better place, but I also know that I’m not the only person in the world.
Realistically, everyone in the world is ruining the world. I’m ruining the world just as you are ruining the world. Granted, this is usually unintentional. But, as humans, we are kind of stuck here – ruining the world.
Alternatively, each of us does have the power to enrich the world through positive human interaction and by our intentionally meaningful actions.
I feel like the problem is that we aren’t supposed to take action unless it has been preapproved by other humans in the society. There’s no such thing as meaningful action unless someone else has specifically approved your actions as meaningful. It has come to a point where an expression of independence in thought automatically brands one as some type of degenerate – earning much derision and taunting from those who live the “right” way.
On the one hand, most people seem to truly believe that “strongly worded letters” are the best way to affect change. Now, maybe I’m completely off-base, but I can’t see how a letter written to a politician who will never actually read the letter [but who will send an automatically generated response anyway] changes anything. It does not change anything at all except that several pieces of paper were wasted during the exchange if it took place by mail. In fact, writing a letter is really just a way of washing one’s hands of the issue. “I wrote my letter, and that’s all I can do; I’m not going to worry about it anymore.” Nothing is changed by one letter sent to a politician… unless your letter happens to be wrapped around enough money that your perspective suddenly becomes attractive and important to the politician.
On the other hand, there have been many people throughout history who dared to take real action – and at their own expense – to affect change. Written and oral histories tell us of our brave and noble ancestors who fought and died for important causes. True, history is written by the victors – but does that make their struggle any less important? I don’t think it does. While I may not agree with their causes, I do recognize that they were doing what they thought they had to do to survive.
So, where is the middle ground – that place where we transcend the comfortable inaction of self-indulgent talk, yet are not so zealous that we are killed by others for our actions?
In my current society, I cannot see very many people who choose to live by the morals they boast about. Humans are hypocrites, this is a confirmed fact. It’s strange though – it seems like the majority of people can only see one side of any specific issue… when faced with the alternative, they just become angry and make strongly worded threats to their “enemies”. When pushed, they then either flip over and show their yellow bellies or take the exact action they claim is wrong by justifying it as “a necessary evil”.
From my perspective, evil is not necessary. This is not to say that some questionable tactics aren’t useful to one’s survival (let’s face it – humans only break their stubborn resolve when forced to)… but to take action with evil intent (specifically to harm, maim, torture, kill without remorse) is to espouse the very “evil” one is purportedly trying to conquer.
So, where is the middle ground?
When I try to think of myself in a combat situation – kill or be killed – I know I would kill without a second thought. This is the human instinct for survival, and it is very strong in me. Yet, even then, I know I would later feel remorse that I had to do that. I know that I would be upset that I was in that situation and that I felt like I had no other choice than to kill another being so that I might survive a few minutes longer. I would likely suffer from PTSD and depression and every other problem that people who’ve been in traumatic situations have suffered from. I’ve already suffered from those things, so I understand how that all works. I understand that helplessness of the moment, “Did I have any other choice? What else could I have done? Why did that happen? How could that have happened? Why me? Was I right to do that? Was I wrong to do that?”
Who decides which of us is right or wrong?
Against an enemy, it doesn’t matter. The enemy is the enemy, it doesn’t matter if his/her personal convictions do not match that of his/her macrocosmic stereotype. All that matters is that s/he can be loosely defined as “enemy”.
I hate that about humans – that classification of unknown beings as enemies.
To me, an enemy would be someone who is actively trying to hurt and/or murder me. I have had enemies in my life… but I never hated them. I didn’t feel like they were my personal enemies, because I’d prefer to get along with everyone without any issue. But, that didn’t change the fact that I knew that in their minds, I was “the enemy”. I didn’t understand why they hated me, what was it about me that inspired so much rage? I did what I had to do to survive, but I did not feel hate for them, just sadness about the situation. Honestly, I have always felt hate and disgust toward myself that I was/am so easily “hated” by others. There is something about me that enrages other people and easily puts me in the category of “enemy”.
I don’t see that changing anytime soon. In fact, at this point in my life, it’s pretty much guaranteed that I will always be an “enemy” to an easy 3/4 of any given populace because I have stopped trying to fake my way through life as “friend”. Oddly, I would like to be a friend to everyone, but I do recognize that this is not realistic and I do understand that most people cannot see me as “Friend.”
And, I think I’m okay with that.
And, that’s how I know I can change the world. This is not to say that I can change the actions of other humans of the world, because that is not possible. What I can do, though, is make the world better and safer for people who are like me. Those people who are “enemy” by birth or lifestyle or circumstance – those are the people I can change the world for. I can help them by understanding them – I recognize that they cause other people to be afraid just by being themselves. I understand that they are labeled “enemy” simply because they do not superficially present themselves as “friend”.
And so, in my life, I try to make people understand that they are not “enemy” to me. And, that’s all I can do. I can change the world for those people who exist in my little part of the world. I can help them to understand that there are people who see them for who they are, and that there are people who care for them as they truly are.
Believe me, I know how much it hurts to always be treated as an outsider. But, I feel like it’s my place to embrace that as a part of my reality – I have the ability to make it known that outsiders are perfectly acceptable. So, that’s what I do.
You, my friend, are acceptable, and I accept you just the way you are.