Thankful Thursday – April 2, 2015
I’ve decided to restart Thankful Thursday posts. I haven’t done one in a long time, but it’s time to work on refocusing my brain again. I went and read a post from two years ago and realized that I still need to do this activity.
Today, I am thankful that my feelings are not as dire as they were two years ago. Yes, I still have problems. Yes, I’m still lost sometimes. Yes, I’m in an uphill battle. BUT, I’m still alive. I’ve survived these two years, and I can see my feelings aren’t as constantly overwhelming as they used to be. If I’m looking at percentages, I’d say that it’s now about 40% misery, 20% confusion, 30% okay and 10% contentedness. That’s a massive difference from the 90% misery / 8% okay / 2% peace from just seven months ago. I’m evolving! *fanfare*
So, let me figure out what has happened since then:
– I went on a trip by myself overseas ; gained understanding of living life to the fullest.
– I had a couple of informal interactions with a person who made me feel comfortable.
– I let go of a lot of angry and upset feelings.
– I have a bit of confidence, sometimes.
– I learned how to counteract some of my worst recurring thoughts & feelings.
– I don’t feel as helpless or hopeless on a daily basis.
– I realized I had to stop trying to forcibly remove my feelings; they are a part of me.
– I learned to accept these uncontrollable feelings as a natural part of myself.
– I learned to resist mental comparisons.
– I learned to accept that I will have bad days, but that it’s okay.
– I realized I really can make it through each day.
I am definitely thankful for each of these things. It’s a testament to persistence that I’m even able to write this post today. In years past, I would still be incapable of clear thought two days after an emotional breakdown. That is a very good sign of improvement.
Take care, friend.