Why Does ‘Everything Happen for a Reason’?
One of the most frustrating phrases I have ever heard people repeat is “Everything happens for a reason!”. OK, I get it, this is the easiest way to come to terms with past mistakes, hurt from others, uncontrollable situations and so on.
But, what does it actually mean?
What is the reason?
Some would say that life happens as it does because all of our lives are “A Part of God’s Plan”. Now, please correct me if I’m wrong, but if there’s a Plan we were set to enact, then we do not actually have free will. If everything that happens was mapped out eons ago, then why do we even pretend to make decisions? Why don’t we just march along, doing whatever we’re supposed to? I’ve heard countless people talking earnestly about how “God spoke to” them about decisions they had to make.
That’s just plain creepy.
Imagine, if you will, a moment in time where you were upset, stressed beyond consolation, confused, and alone. You weep in your loneliness and despair, rocking back and forth until suddenly you hear someone whisper inside your head, “Psst. Hey, You. What I really want you to do is…”.
This topic brings to mind the episode “One” of Star Trek: Voyager (yes, I’m a Trekkie, folks). One of the characters, Seven of Nine, is operating the ship alone for a significant length of time while the rest of the crew sleeps in stasis. During her time alone, she meets another ship, captained by a fellow named Trajis Lo-Tarik. She is wary of him, but thinks he’s just a strange guy… until she’s alone and starts hearing him calling her name (“Seven of Nine…”) in corridors and rooms, then finds him appearing randomly on Voyager and, finally, threatening her. She goes into alert mode, frantically trying to save the ship (and herself) from Trajis’ attacks. Turns out, she’s hallucinating. There never was a Trajis Lo-Tarik; she made him up to fill her need for companionship, but her fear got the best of her good intentions.
This is not to say I believe anyone who says God has directed his/her choices is hallucinating, I truly have no clue.
But, to me, it just seems highly unlikely that what is perceived as “God” is not really just our own minds. To me, it seems like the fear of “making a mistake” when making a difficult decision is what makes people attribute their decisions to a higher power. “I didn’t make a mistake, God told me to do it! And, if God told me to do it, it must have been the right decision. See, I have proof! It all worked out, these forty years later! We all turned out OK, right?”
Honestly, I don’t understand how that is supposed to work out. I’ve never claimed to receive a message from any type of god. Probably because I try to use my instincts and intuition and critical thinking (instead of emotions) to make decisions. I don’t use the excuse that “God” told me to do something because, to be perfectly frank, it’s all me.
That excuse didn’t fly in kindergarten – “Jimmy told me to pull Sally’s hair, so I did!” – because You, indeed, were the one who pulled Sally’s hair. You made the decision to pull her hair. Those were your hands that reached out and yanked her pigtails. Sure, you only did it because Jimmy was leering at you, ready to punch you in the gut if you didn’t do what he told you to, but you did it. You were afraid of Jimmy, so you did something questionable to allay that fear. Meanwhile, Sally is a casualty of your fear: she gets hurt so you don’t have to.
Now, I would ask, what is the reason for that fear? What is the reason for excusing our own actions and absolving ourselves of responsibility by blaming our choices on someone or something bigger than ourselves?
Nobody can know the entirety of this answer.
As a student of metaphysics, the only thing I can come up with is this: everything that is currently happening has simultaneously already happened and will still happen in this reality.
There are alternate realities created by each monumental decision – infinite lives you have lived differently because you made different choices. Nothing else could have possibly happened in this reality because it is the only one this You exists in.
The dimensions of the universe do not exist in linear time as we humans do. All time is Now. All time is past, present, and future. We are, were and will be – all at once.
So, then, what is the reason for our lives? Why, or How, does everything happen for a reason?
Because we must learn.
We who are learning face the challenges we face not because we were supposed to, but because we have to.
We would never learn if we did not make mistakes.
This is the nature of humanity.
I learn every day.
Do you?