I dreamed of the you I’ve never met,Face to face,I traced your fine lines,I memorized this version of you,I smiled. When I woke up, I knew it was you,But how could I know,Unless some version of us survived? It’s the only comfort,That somewhere, We were able to speak,We were able to grow,We figured it out. […]
Continue Reading →It’s too hot to pretend I am fine. I am not fine. I feel unhappy and unfulfilled. Will I know ‘better’ when it arrives? If this is the best my life has ever been and I am still this unhappy, what can I even do? Nobody has asked me how I feel since 2021. It […]
Continue Reading →A long-held and closely guarded secret of mine is that I have been in love with the same person for over two decades. It was a secret because it’s confusing and painful and socially unacceptable. (I wrote about it nearly ten years ago, but I rarely talk about it in person.) On the one hand, […]
Continue Reading →I forgot to write an end-of-the-year post for 2021. It’s fine, though, because it really just felt like a continuation of 2020. I pulled up the 2020 list and found that I didn’t write 2021 goals anyway. Since I have actually completed some of my 2020 items, I’ve decided to outline the things I accomplished […]
Continue Reading →I am acutely aware of the passage of time because that’s how my brain works. During times of heightened stress, it becomes unbearable because I can see each thing that bothers me, see that it is unchanging, and see that I cannot trust my efforts to bring actual positive change to my future life. This […]
Continue Reading →I realized again yesterday that my life is a hilarious paradox. This set of ideas was weighing on my mind, so I came to write this post, only to find I had started writing it two years ago and left it as a draft. It seems that v2019 Jane left this hanging and unfinished for […]
Continue Reading →You know, I really wanted to be able to write a decent end of year post. Unfortunately, the year has been so shitty that there’s nothing to write about. Someone recently asked me what good stuff has happened to me in 2020. I legitimately couldn’t think of a single answer. That’s ridiculous. That’s not normal. […]
Continue Reading →
Today, I saw a bunch of social media posts where people listed the things that happened to them in the 2010s, then summarized their post with a story about how great the universe has been to them this decade. Naturally, I decided to break down the last decade by year and write down the most […]
Continue Reading →I haven’t been able to write publicly for a few years. Things have been difficult, to say the least. It’s been a constant struggle, to the point where I keep slogging forward simply because that’s the only direction to go. There have been so many truly bad things in the past few years that I […]
Continue Reading →2018 was a year that brought joy and pain, confusion and insight. I spent the first half of the year dealing with an unpleasant set of circumstances that culminated in a drawn-out court case. This has been an ongoing issue since 2016, but this year was more soul-sucking, I guess. I took a full-time position […]
Continue Reading →