By Jane Tanfei|Oct 03 2016 | Psychology, Thoughts
I’ve thought a lot lately about self-respect and what it means. The dictionary defines self-respect as, “pride and confidence in oneself; a feeling that one is behaving with honor and dignity.” I like that definition, I really do, but when I’m thinking of self-respect, I am thinking of it as it relates to other people. […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 30 2015 | Psychology, Thoughts
I woke up today like an old woman – creaking, cringing, and crying. I’m in full-blown seasonal depression now, hoping to wake up dead. My brain is stuck in rumination mode, and every few seconds, I think of a reason I shouldn’t exist. I think of how much better off everyone would be if I […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Sep 30 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts
Today, I’ve felt pretty good overall. It was wobbly in some spots, but I was able to make it through most of the day without any major upsets. Most of the day… until about 20 minutes ago when I was talking to my youngest kid. He was saying “– is my daddy’s name!” So, I […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Sep 23 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts
My depression is killing me. I’m tired of feeling and being pessimistic toward myself, only capable of seeing and feeling the negative when I am upset. While I am significantly better equipped at weathering my melancholy than I used to be, there are still things I need to improve upon. I feel like these negative […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 06 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts
I am flip-flopping – still – on if I want to share this information. It is painful to me, but I need to get it outside of myself because I need to reflect upon it from an external viewpoint. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve tried to solve a problem in my mind – how […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 06 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts
Sometimes, I feel despair because I think about how my emotions are pointless and useless – they are good for nothing besides causing me pain. I was thinking about how I’m always out of sync – feeling happy things when socially I “should” feel bad, or seeing negativity where others only see positive things. Most […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 03 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts
Over the past week, I’ve had two more encounters to practice my “walk away from rude people” skills with. It is not easy. I’m trying to stick by the idea: they start insults, I walk away. On the second encounter (multiple people, typical mob mentality), I was talking to one person when a second person […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Feb 27 2014 | Metaphysical Discussion, Psychology, Thoughts
Sometimes, I go out and play live music. On one such recent occasion, I had a pretty good time, and then I suddenly started to feel very alone. I felt really empty and isolated, despite the fact that there were kind people around and it had been a joyful evening. The strangest part is that […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Feb 24 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts
I just realized what I have learned about myself in the past few days: I don’t want to be detached anymore. It’s strange to think that, but I recognize now that I usually am detached because it is a way to protect myself from emotional upset. I think now that I understand the reality that […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Feb 19 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts
Nigh on a year ago, I vowed to myself (in the post On Shame…) that the shame in my heart was breathing its last breaths. I’ve been busting through those pockets of shame with a sledgehammer, hauling out those sharp edges that have caused me to feel broken, and patching up the holes with thoughts […]
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