By Jane Tanfei|Aug 22 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts
My brain does not work “properly” when I am feeling strong emotions. I lose the ability to speak when I am overcome with emotion. When this happens to me, I shut down. If I have any amount of control left, I sit staring stoically at nothing and any word I am able to force out […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jul 02 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Psychology, Thoughts
Why do I worry about other people? Why am I bothered and/or emotionally invested in the imaginary thoughts/actions of other people? Why am I stuck in the circular mindset of “why”? I’ll admit I think too much and too deeply. I feel out of place with people because I think about things that have no […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jul 01 2013 | Psychology, Star Trek, Thoughts
I feel love. It cuts me very deeply and leaves me open and raw and feeling bereaved, yet also feeling soft and warm and comforted because that love is beautiful even as it is painful. Additionally, that love causes distress because I fluctuate between feeling tough and feeling tender. I do not allow myself vulnerability, […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 20 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Psychology, Thankful Thursday, Thoughts
I wrote the first post on this blog (Hello World…) one year and one day ago. Over the past 366 days, I’ve written a lot about myself and my struggles. My goal in starting this blog was to break through the deeply seated Silence that has blanketed my life. I feel like I have achieved my goal, […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 17 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Psychology, Thoughts
I wonder what it would be like to feel attachment to people, places, things? One of the strangest things about me is that I have very little attachment to anyone or anyplace or anything. Internally, when I feel myself begin to get too attached to someone or something, I automatically shut off those feelings because […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 06 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts, Writings
Sorrow, Confusion, Joy – Recovery. And so, dear reader, you have entered my life while I am in a continuous state of recovery. I call this a recovery because it is a daily struggle not to slip into those old behaviors. I must always be mindful of my thoughts and my words to avoid self-hate […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 06 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts, Writings
“If you’re happy, we’re happy.” – Codependency. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I don’t know if I believe in hell, but I do know that I am surely going there if it exists. Codependence is described as excessive attachment and need for approval from others as a condition for one’s […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 06 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts, Writings
Hapless, Helpless, Hopeless, Worthless – Battered Person Syndrome. Battered Person Syndrome is, essentially, when an abused person believes that s/he deserves and/or is responsible for any abuse that happens to him/her. I have always believed that I am responsible for abuse I have endured, that it’s my fault because I am a piece of crap, […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 06 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts, Writings
Secrets, Fear, Lies – Dysfunctional Family Life. My life as a child was not at all happy. In fact, I can’t actually remember any happiness on my part. All potentially happy experiences were subdued because I was always expecting something bad to happen. I remember feeling no joy or excitement about things like birthdays or […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 05 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts, Writings
I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out “What is wrong with me?” and “How could I have done the things I’ve done?” Essentially, I’ve been obsessed with trying to understand the reasons I have been the way I have been and acted the way I’ve acted. In my search for answers, […]
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