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Viewing posts from: Thoughts

12
Feb

Detached Decorum

By Jane Tanfei|Feb 12 2015 | Thoughts

I often feel out of sync with the world – as if time exists, but I am moving at a different speed. I look around, and everything looks strange to me. Lights seem too bright and too artificial, my body feels strange to me, words and laughter sound foreign, and people’s behavior takes on an […]

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22
Jan

Rain Brain Deluxe

By Jane Tanfei|Jan 22 2015 | Humor, Poetry, Thoughts

My thoughts today are scattered and strange, Frenzied and warp-ed And floppy in range. I wasn’t so sure What I’d write here today, For I can’t quite tell If I’m hemmed or frayed. Basically speaking, It’s nonsense gone wild. The frantic post-basal Drips of an adult child. In the jungles of confusion, In the deserts of […]

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08
Jan

Thoughts of a Cloistered Mind

By Jane Tanfei|Jan 08 2015 | Thankful Thursday, Thoughts

Try as I might, I can’t seem to share the world with other people. I don’t seem to experience things with other people. I try to be present, but my thoughts and feelings constantly create a barrier between myself and the people around me. Mostly, people just assume I’m “stuck-up” or “think I’m better than […]

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31
Dec

Closing Thoughts, 2014

By Jane Tanfei|Dec 31 2014 | Thoughts

Last day of the year. I am struggling today with feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. My thoughts center around feeling alone and feeling like it’s hopeless for me. Logically, I recognize that I may have upwards of 60 more years to live, and that would mean I’ve only experienced 1/3 of my life. A lot […]

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05
Dec

Portents of 2015

By Jane Tanfei|Dec 05 2014 | Thoughts

I feel like I got a lot of bs out of the way during 2014. I accomplished a lot this year – I made many strides emotionally and mentally – and I learned a lot of things about who I am and how I am. I feel like 2015 will be a far better year […]

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10
Nov

Newp.

By Jane Tanfei|Nov 10 2014 | Thoughts

So, “surrendering to the universe” sure feels a hell of a lot like “giving up”. Basically, I feel halfway heartbroken and halfway apathetic. I don’t feel any significant level of care about anything anymore, it’s kind of like, “Whatever happens will happen, doesn’t matter how I feel.” Realistically, it doesn’t matter how I feel. I’m the only […]

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05
Nov

Brain Time Warp

By Jane Tanfei|Nov 05 2014 | Thoughts

My brain time is wrong. 1) Somehow I just realized yesterday that I’ve actually been alive 30 years. Which is weird to me, because I still think, “Wow, I’ll be 30 someday.” Someday is next month, and that’s just confusing to me. It seems like it should be some big event, but it’s really just […]

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31
Oct

Struggling to Surrender

By Jane Tanfei|Oct 31 2014 | Thoughts

The most difficult thing for me to do: Surrender to the Universe. Long story short, I’m trying to learn to go with the flow. I realized a few weeks ago that trying to exert control over incomprehensible parts of my life just causes debilitating emotional upset for me. It seems like a really simple task […]

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28
Oct

Dead-eyed Diatribe.

By Jane Tanfei|Oct 28 2014 | Thoughts

I’m pretty sure I’m entering a “cold-heart” phase. Basically, this means I am non-receptive to any thoughts or ideas about the fantasy everyone perpetuates, wherein a perfect mate exists for everyone, blah blah blah. I went on a trip to Ireland by myself. I had a good time, but toward the end, I started to […]

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30
Sep

Overwhelming Insecurity…

By Jane Tanfei|Sep 30 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts

Today, I’ve felt pretty good overall. It was wobbly in some spots, but I was able to make it through most of the day without any major upsets. Most of the day… until about 20 minutes ago when I was talking to my youngest kid. He was saying “– is my daddy’s name!” So, I […]

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