By Jane Tanfei|May 02 2014 | Thoughts
There’s very little that gives me a feeling of dread anymore, and that is a good thing. Unfortunately, there is one specific topic that pretty much ONLY gives me dread: dating. People keep trying to goad or talk me into going on dates, or “just think about it”. I don’t want to. Leave me alone […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 28 2014 | Thoughts
As I change, I see one obstacle that continues to prevent me from a free-flowing existence: maintaining presence in the present. The Daily Struggle, I will call it, is one of keeping my mind from being stuck in sorrow of the past or imagined versions of the future. It has taken me a long time […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 21 2014 | Thoughts
I have only recently been able to recognize that I AM good enough for the world. To be sure, I still have a problem remembering this (because I’ve spent about thirty years telling myself the exact opposite thing), but I KNOW it to be true. I can say with complete honesty that the real reason […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 17 2014 | Thoughts
Bring out the party hats and confetti, folks, I’ve finally MADE IT!!! I have finally been able to pull those last vestiges of the old me out of the dark, examine them and hold them to the light. And, they’ve taken on the light and held it. I’m different. I’ve become someone else, just in […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 31 2014 | Thoughts
This morning I realized that I am a kind person. I have always technically KNOWN this, but today I realized it. What I mean is, I realized that I am inherently kind and compassionate – my first thoughts when I see someone struggle aren’t thoughts of disgust or dismissal, they are thoughts of how I can […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 27 2014 | Thoughts
I have a very hard time trying to understand the point of enduring constant struggle in life. I feel like I am struggling just to keep my head above water – always on the brink of drowning, always trying to find that last bit of strength, so tired that I am always yearning to let myself […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 24 2014 | Thoughts
So, there is a rating scale males use to judge females on “hotness”. Essentially, the males are more likely to spend time with a female the higher she rates on this scale of 1-10. I decided to go look up this scale to figure out what these people are talking about. I threw up a […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 10 2014 | Poetry, Thoughts
Duality and how – I am the guy in westerns With dead eyes and no regard for anything “sane”. I am the giant-eyed leather-skinned alien in UFO movies, Making clicking noises Make the skin crawl. Staring, unmoved. I am the reptilian monster, Watching from the trees, Tracking every move in the area – watching and […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 06 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts
I am flip-flopping – still – on if I want to share this information. It is painful to me, but I need to get it outside of myself because I need to reflect upon it from an external viewpoint. For the past couple of weeks, I’ve tried to solve a problem in my mind – how […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 06 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts
Sometimes, I feel despair because I think about how my emotions are pointless and useless – they are good for nothing besides causing me pain. I was thinking about how I’m always out of sync – feeling happy things when socially I “should” feel bad, or seeing negativity where others only see positive things. Most […]
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