Compassionate Conflict…
Sometimes, I feel despair because I think about how my emotions are pointless and useless – they are good for nothing besides causing me pain. I was thinking about how I’m always out of sync – feeling happy things when socially I “should” feel bad, or seeing negativity where others only see positive things. Most of the time, this serves me well, because it adds a layer of realism – I recognize that there is good and bad in everyone and everything. I have never done well with the black & white judgments of others – “they’re good”, “they’re bad”, those dogmatic and sweeping generalizations of humans (singular and/or plural) based on one person’s personal prejudices.
I do see that people hate being called out on their prejudices, but I also will not let them slide. Of course, it ends up with me being “the bad guy” for telling them the truth about how I perceive their behaviors. But, at this point, I don’t care anymore. I would rather be honest and hated than false and liked. That’s just the way it goes. I’m not going to go along with falsity and denial and self-delusion just to “help” people feel superior to other humans. I’ll support you in the ways I can, but I will not support you in lies and bigotry.
I have come to realize that people are, by and large, small-minded. I don’t think this is intentional for most people, it’s just an evolutionary necessity that’s hard to break. It’s interesting to study, and sad to see when it shows itself in nasty and violent outbursts from people who cannot accept that there are alternate viewpoints that may also be correct.
See, I think that “right” and “wrong” are really neither. The issue is the issue, and both sides of the topic are just as right or wrong as the other side because the issue could not exist without both sides. If people could accept that right and wrong are equal, there’d be no issue to squabble over, because the idea would be accepted as an entity unto itself.
What I do dislike is when people become obstinate and intentionally incapable of even comprehending that the alternate viewpoint has any validity – they become hateful and vindictive, attempting insult at anyone who brings up the alternative in a way that proves their argument has flaws.
And, that’d be me.
I’m the person bringing up the flaws in perspective.
And, it’s really just instinctual – I automatically see that there are flaws in an argument, even when I agree 100%. I see what the “other side” thinks or holds as true. And, I bring it up. Because, in my mind, knowledge is power – the more you know, the better you can understand your own perspective and the more compassion you can feel for those who do not share your perspective.
I also know, though, that some humans are incapable of feeling compassion or camaraderie with people they believe are “wrong”. And, this is a sad thing. It’s sad because it severely limits what we all can learn from one another.
I want to tell you, friend, that you are right and you are wrong, but the only thing that matters is that you are YOU. And, you are worthy of love and care, no matter what it is you think. Don’t be afraid to talk to people – you will find the difference between those capable of open-mindedness and those stuck in their narrow worlds. You will learn, my friend, which group YOU belong to and which group you want to belong to. Because, it’s a choice.
All the best,
– Jane