Hollow Glass
It’s not about money or diamonds,
It’s not about sordid pasts.
There are many things that are worth it
And love is the first and the last.
I want to be loved with reckless abandon.
I want to be held gently and be softly spared
In the arms of a warm and kind-hearted lover;
I want to have hope without fear.
It’s not enough to have love without worry,
If love isn’t what can be shared,
Because love is pure and ungrudging
But is only full when the two hearts are paired.
If it’s known, don’t call it forsaken.
For if it exists, it is good.
Because even in great pain and sorrow
There is something to treasure and hold.
They say it’s a fault to feel loving.
They say it’s a pity to care.
They call you a fool for the most tender feelings,
As for me, I’m a fool when I dare.
And even if time washes love out the window,
And even if madness takes me away,
It’s not about painful potential,
It’s about being loved here, today.
It’s not a way to be held to a memory
Or be trapped by a pledge, as you say.
Because with love, the true indicator
Is the knowledge it can’t be explained.
I want to be loved for my plainness,
And despite any oddities here,
I want to feel safe and encouraged
With the smile of my love when he’s near.
And I want to be loved for my laughter,
To be known for weakness and strength.
I want my heart heard and understood,
To be seen as more than a body or face.
There aren’t many words to express it
Because the feeling is known only there
When the taste, scent & touch becomes needing
Two as one without thinking ere.
It’s not about counting encounters
Or bragging of trophies ensnared,
It’s not about trading pleasure for gain.
It’s just about being present, aware.
And I’ve tried all the tricks of the sages,
All the ruses and denials declared.
I’ve presented my body to strangers
Because that was all they wanted to share.
And then I am in loss and anger,
In a place of utter despair,
I feel too much love to be worthy
And I feel too little else everywhere.
It is bitter and cold, life’s refusal,
To bless me with love whole and contained,
Because I’m too much for a man who is frightened,
I’m too much and not enough just the same.
So, I need to be loved with no trepidation,
In the moment of eye-spoken words,
I need to be seen and acknowledged
Even if it’s in the most quiet of ways.
There isn’t a book that can tell me
Any truth I don’t already know.
My life and love aren’t all pointless
If I learn to love my life as I go.
And I know I will find myself loving,
I know I will feel longing and need.
I know I will reach timidly for a hand hidden,
And the hand will then reach out to me.