Wonders at the Wonder Bread…
I had a relatively disturbing dream last night:
I was shopping at a discount Wonder Bread factory store in the town I used to live in. As I was walking through the parking lot, I happened to glance over at a car full of people and noticed that the people in it were various Star Trek television actors: Brent Spiner (Data), Patrick Stewart (Jean-Luc Picard), Michael Dorn (Worf), George Takei (Hikaru Sulu) and Robert Beltran (Chakotay). All of these fellows were dressed in Mariachi costumes and laughing uproariously in their car. Interestingly, the only thing I found strange was that they were driving a very normal car and stopped at a discount bakery store…
From an identical silver Ford Taurus parked next to this vehicle emerged several other actors: LeVar Burton (Geordi La Forge), Jonathan Frakes (Will Riker), Marina Sirtis (Deanna Troi), and Kate Mulgrew (Kathryn Janeway) who proceeded into the store ahead of me. The TNG cast were wearing their uniforms, but Janeway was dressed up in black opera clothes with a fancy shawl thrown over her shoulders.
I became excited as I drew closer to the store, and thought to myself, “Wow, it’s lucky I happened to be wearing my Star Trek uniform today!” I looked down at my red (command) TNG uniform and straightened my sweater.
I headed into the store and got a shopping cart, then went down a long hallway that declined down into the basement. At the basement, I ran into Della Reese who stopped my dream companion (who, I might add, did not exist until we turned the corner into the hall were Della was standing). The dream companion looked like the stereotypical drawing of an angel – curly golden hair, bright white outfit and wings with a very bright light behind him/her. The dream companion and Della (who played the angel Tess on the show Touched by an Angel) were catching up on old times and talking about singing hymns, so I proceeded on to do my shopping.
I noticed that Geordi was too short to reach some chocolate donuts on a top shelf, so he used his visor as a boomerang to get the box down, then got into line. I grabbed a couple of things I wanted and stepped into line behind a woman wearing a karate gi with blue, red, and yellow stripes on it. Geordi and Riker checked out and stood waiting for Troi, who was behind the counter talking to the checker.
The woman in front of me proceeded to check out, purchasing several dessert items with a food stamp card. Riker noticed this and became irate, yelling out to the store, “Who here uses ‘the card’?” Geordi then accosted the woman and asked, “Don’t you have any self-control? Don’t you know there are starving people who need that money you’re wasting on desserts? What do you think you’re doing? Do you even have a job?”
The woman, who’d apparently just gotten off work at the bread store, said, “As a matter of fact, I do have a job and I do it well.” She stepped around the counter and told the other checker to move over. She put a blindfold on and started to bag groceries without looking. Then, the woman pulled out a knife and used it to open a large bucket of chocolate cake crumbs. Troi was impressed and started clapping. The woman then stuck her hands into the container of cake crumbs and started kneading the crumbs with her very long and thick fingernails, telling everyone that she did that to make them easier for the customer to cook with. Geordi and Riker were impressed and began apologizing to the (still blindfolded) woman.
All I could think of was a story I’d heard from someone who said their favorite beautician used her long fingernails to wipe after a bowel movement since her fingernails were too long to properly hold toilet paper. I wanted no part of those chocolate cake crumbs and quickly exited the store. Kate Mulgrew was standing outside and said, “Nice to see you in there!” and winked at me. Then, she turned into my grandmother and started cackling maniacally as she adjusted her shawl.
End dream dictation.
So, what did I learn from this dream?
A) I could use a chocolate donut or cake.
B) Clearly, I watched too much television during my Thanksgiving break.
C) It’s important not to judge people by their grocery store purchases…
What did you learn from my dream?
😉 <I now clutch my shawl and cackle maniacally.>