Noted as Neutral
I am having an extremely rare day of peace. I don’t feel bad mentally or physically, there aren’t any pervasive thought chains, and I am staying in the present without effort.
I feel like I’m supposed to do something about it? I kind of miss feeling bad because I’m so used to it? I really don’t like that thought at all. Well, to explain, I don’t feel any deep feelings of any kind and that is what I miss. I guess it’s better to be pretty blank, since those feelings don’t have a place in my life anyway.
Uh oh, that statement brought some emotion – beginnings of tears behind my eyes. But, it went away as soon as I realized it was showing up.
So, I guess I have emotion still – but it’s not intense. Perhaps it’s even controllable?
I don’t know, trying to think of this is making me feel tired. I slept in today, but I feel tired nonetheless.
Whatever, I’m just going to try to enjoy it as a respite day, even though I can only feel a vague version of joy that’s really akin to a corner of a lip upturned on an otherwise blank face.