Nigh on a year ago, I vowed to myself (in the post On Shame…) that the shame in my heart was breathing its last breaths. I’ve been busting through those pockets of shame with a sledgehammer, hauling out those sharp edges that have caused me to feel broken, and patching up the holes with thoughts […]
Continue Reading →In a mood of despondency, feeling a wailing and hopeless sense of despair, I decided to write down what I would need and want from a partner – if I were ever lucky enough to find one. The despair comes from the reality that there are some things about me that point to the idea […]
Continue Reading →There is a set of ideas floating around my head – a qualitative and definitive understanding relative to my current emotions and thoughts and evoked by recent events in my life. The main tenets of this soon-to-be formulated understanding of my world: 1) Fear is irrelevant. 2) Money is irrelevant. 3) Intuition is key. 4) […]
Continue Reading →I am so angry right now, at you and your lifelong friendships and wonderful family members and that you only ever have to worry about superficial problems, that you get to live your life of luck and pleasantry. I am so angry at myself, because I feel sick of how I feel in my life. […]
Continue Reading →So, this morning I am thinking about humans and our need to judge others by our own fickle standards. I was already kind of thinking about this as I did my morning trudge; I’d been considering the frustration I feel at the automatic mental comparisons I do every day. Not because I want to, but […]
Continue Reading →So, I’ve been preoccupied lately with trying to figure out exactly what people get out of romantic relationships. Basically, this consists of watching the interactions of couples, and taking mental notes about types of relationships vs. the body language and demeanor of the subjects. Maybe that sounds bizarre, but that’s how it really is for […]
Continue Reading →I remember the first time I wished upon a star. I’d watched Pinocchio for the first time after my siblings and I received it on VHS at Christmas. I was four and a half years old – sitting in the back of a minivan, settling in for an hour long ride to evening church. I […]
Continue Reading →Ugh. I am annoyed, disgusted, and just plain irritable all around. People annoy, disgust, and irritate me. Not purposefully, mind you. It’s not like it matters what they do or whether I’m irritated. They obviously don’t care that their behavior is disgusting to me. Who am I? Nobody. Who are they? Nobody. Who do they […]
Continue Reading →I’m not big on making resolutions. Realistically, this is because I can’t control anything other than what I do TODAY. Truthfully, I can’t control anything other than what I do THIS VERY SECOND. So, I don’t like making resolutions, because I know I’ll fail in at least a few of them simply because I can’t […]
Continue Reading →I once had a guildmate in Everquest called Freerolling. He was a friendly male halfling, and took me under his wing as a fellow halfling. This may or may not have had anything to do with my shapely halfling female avatar, her irresistible Leia-like hair of bright red, gray eyes blazing with mischief, and dainty […]
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