During fall and winter, I become a bear – I’m only interested in food and hibernation. I’m constantly hungry and tired. This is Seasonal Affective Disorder, so it also means my body is out of my control: I overeat without meaning to, well-intentioned walks becomes trudges (my legs feel like they weigh a ton), and […]
Continue Reading →I had a particularly curious dream last night. It wasn’t traumatic or violent or upsetting, just curious. The main thing that stood out to me was that it was so real. I remember my thoughts during the dream, I remember my emotions, and I remember my physical reactions to the environment. I can’t really tell […]
Continue Reading →I was going to write this in my personal journal, but I decided to write here, because I feel like talking to someone. Nothing particularly important, just regular old things going on in my head. I actually have felt balanced and pleasant lately, for the past couple of months. I started taking turmeric circumin each […]
Continue Reading →Only a couple of months into the year, and I’ve already made a few useful realizations: 1) Intuition is always right. I realized I’ve been ignoring my intuition again. I have been willfully ignoring my gut feelings in an attempt to be “normal”. After a bunch of rejection and upset and confusion, I had a […]
Continue Reading →I often feel out of sync with the world – as if time exists, but I am moving at a different speed. I look around, and everything looks strange to me. Lights seem too bright and too artificial, my body feels strange to me, words and laughter sound foreign, and people’s behavior takes on an […]
Continue Reading →My thoughts today are scattered and strange, Frenzied and warp-ed And floppy in range. I wasn’t so sure What I’d write here today, For I can’t quite tell If I’m hemmed or frayed. Basically speaking, It’s nonsense gone wild. The frantic post-basal Drips of an adult child. In the jungles of confusion, In the deserts of […]
Continue Reading →Try as I might, I can’t seem to share the world with other people. I don’t seem to experience things with other people. I try to be present, but my thoughts and feelings constantly create a barrier between myself and the people around me. Mostly, people just assume I’m “stuck-up” or “think I’m better than […]
Continue Reading →Last day of the year. I am struggling today with feelings of inadequacy and anxiety. My thoughts center around feeling alone and feeling like it’s hopeless for me. Logically, I recognize that I may have upwards of 60 more years to live, and that would mean I’ve only experienced 1/3 of my life. A lot […]
Continue Reading →I feel like I got a lot of bs out of the way during 2014. I accomplished a lot this year – I made many strides emotionally and mentally – and I learned a lot of things about who I am and how I am. I feel like 2015 will be a far better year […]
Continue Reading →So, “surrendering to the universe” sure feels a hell of a lot like “giving up”. Basically, I feel halfway heartbroken and halfway apathetic. I don’t feel any significant level of care about anything anymore, it’s kind of like, “Whatever happens will happen, doesn’t matter how I feel.” Realistically, it doesn’t matter how I feel. I’m the only […]
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