I guess I’m still trying to figure out WTF I want, because I keep getting stuck on things I don’t even want to think about. Namely, things related to romantic relationships. THIS IS ANNOYING. I’m pretty wishy-washy about the whole thing. Sometimes I think I’d like a partner, sometimes I don’t. Mostly, I can’t really […]
Continue Reading →Today, for the first time ever, I woke up without a worry in the world. Yes, my mind kept bringing up all of the things I generally worry about, but I just didn’t care about them – there was no anxiety response in my body and brain. There are a few unchangeable aspects of my […]
Continue Reading →I feel strange – addled. I am in the middle of one of the “where is my life going?” modes; don’t know what I’m doing, why I’m doing anything, where I’m headed… I feel lost and discombobulated, can’t see any way to go forward without also going backward. I feel like I am just going […]
Continue Reading →I keep forgetting who I am. This random loss of my sense of self causes me to feel deeply insecure about my place in the world. There are two definitions of insecurity: 1) uncertainty or anxiety about oneself and 2) the state of being open to danger or threat. I am subject to both of […]
Continue Reading →It’s more than halfway through the year, so I want to revisit my Non-Resolute Ideals for 2014 to see if I’ve followed through with my heretofore whimsical goals, most of which I’d completely forgotten I resolutely planned to do. Here we go… Solidify plans for farm or homestead. I’m still trying to figure out how to do […]
Continue Reading →It’s not about money or diamonds, It’s not about sordid pasts. There are many things that are worth it And love is the first and the last. I want to be loved with reckless abandon. I want to be held gently and be softly spared In the arms of a warm and kind-hearted lover; I […]
Continue Reading →Feeling strange because I think I am entering a new mindset or range of understanding. Lately, I’ve been working to remove myself from intentional exposure to situations and ideas that I know I am sensitive to. I feel better and much calmer overall, but I also feel guilty about it. I kind of feel that […]
Continue Reading →There is a topic that’s been in my heart and flitting through my head for a few months now: pride. I’ve been watching people, looking for how pride is positioned in their lives. I’ve become aware of the reality that most human behavior patterns, actions, reactions and self-identity are based in pride. By pride, I […]
Continue Reading →“A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams.” This note was in a fortune cookie I got the other day. I’m not usually one to take anything more than humor from fortune cookie scrolls, but this one stuck with me. I kept this particular little piece of waxed paper and […]
Continue Reading →I get upset when I see, read, or hear objectification of humans. I know that this comes from being treated as an object in my youth, knowing I was worth nothing more than what my body could provide for other people’s pleasure. I feel an immense sadness and some heartache when I encounter anything that has to […]
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