By Jane Tanfei|Oct 26 2015 | Thoughts
I feel like my brain is covered in a creeping darkness that’s consuming my thoughts and emotions. I can’t help but think there’s something physically wrong with my brain that’s causing such a bombardment of negative thoughts and overwhelming feelings. I imagine leech-like creatures slithering around my brain, devouring normal thoughts and shitting out thoughts […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 30 2015 | Psychology, Thoughts
I woke up today like an old woman – creaking, cringing, and crying. I’m in full-blown seasonal depression now, hoping to wake up dead. My brain is stuck in rumination mode, and every few seconds, I think of a reason I shouldn’t exist. I think of how much better off everyone would be if I […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 11 2014 | Thoughts
I recently had a night on the town, the first I’ve ever actually had. It was fun overall, because I had a good time interacting with the people I was with. I admit that I had several moments of discomfort and boredom, though, because I was there to be there, not because I necessarily wanted […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Dec 13 2013 | Dreams, Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
My outlook on life has changed greatly in the years since I decided I needed to become my true self at all costs. I no longer look to the future with dread, I no longer accept the present with a feeling of despondency, I no longer look at the past with disdain. I have grown mentally and […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Oct 23 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
Any good day I have is, invariably, followed by a bad day. It seems that the two are paired and cannot be separated. Anytime I have a good day, I sigh and tell myself I shall make the following day pleasant – though I fully expect the next day to bear terrible fruit. I cannot […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Oct 11 2013 | Poetry, Thoughts, Writings
As I went about my normal day, In my typically abnormal way, I stumbled into a line of thought Within which much pain was brought. At first it was a tiny twinge, Nothing specific to retell, But then it took a hold of me And dragged my thoughts to hell… I started to remember things […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Aug 27 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
I’m not feeling too terribly bad today, thankfully, but I do have one very frustrating thought reiterating through my mind: “Everybody would be better off without me.” I am sick of thinking that. I know it’s not true, but I still think it all the time. So, while I listen to some Doc Watson music, […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Aug 22 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts
My brain does not work “properly” when I am feeling strong emotions. I lose the ability to speak when I am overcome with emotion. When this happens to me, I shut down. If I have any amount of control left, I sit staring stoically at nothing and any word I am able to force out […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Aug 19 2013 | Dreams, Humor, Rant, Thoughts
I should be asleep. Indeed, I will need to wake up in another few hours for an hour of travel via public transportation to get to work since both of my vehicles bit the dust last week. Never mind that my only duty in life is to go to work for eight hours of every […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 06 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts, Writings
Sorrow, Confusion, Joy – Recovery. And so, dear reader, you have entered my life while I am in a continuous state of recovery. I call this a recovery because it is a daily struggle not to slip into those old behaviors. I must always be mindful of my thoughts and my words to avoid self-hate […]
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