By Jane Tanfei|Jun 06 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts, Writings
“If you’re happy, we’re happy.” – Codependency. They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I don’t know if I believe in hell, but I do know that I am surely going there if it exists. Codependence is described as excessive attachment and need for approval from others as a condition for one’s […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 06 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts, Writings
Hapless, Helpless, Hopeless, Worthless – Battered Person Syndrome. Battered Person Syndrome is, essentially, when an abused person believes that s/he deserves and/or is responsible for any abuse that happens to him/her. I have always believed that I am responsible for abuse I have endured, that it’s my fault because I am a piece of crap, […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 06 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts, Writings
Secrets, Fear, Lies – Dysfunctional Family Life. My life as a child was not at all happy. In fact, I can’t actually remember any happiness on my part. All potentially happy experiences were subdued because I was always expecting something bad to happen. I remember feeling no joy or excitement about things like birthdays or […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 05 2013 | Psychology, Thoughts, Writings
I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out “What is wrong with me?” and “How could I have done the things I’ve done?” Essentially, I’ve been obsessed with trying to understand the reasons I have been the way I have been and acted the way I’ve acted. In my search for answers, […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|May 16 2013 | Poetry, Thoughts, Writings
There was a button in my pocket. I touched it just to see If this button was a button That might help me. I left it there awhile, I even forgot. I put my hand in my pocket, Smiled at what my fingers sought. I pulled the button out, Studied it with intent. I don’t […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|May 16 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
I am shutting down. I can feel it. I feel so disconnected. I feel my heart hardening again, becoming that jaded and cynical observer who exists but does not live. I don’t want to go back to that, but I am slipping back there. I am becoming stagnant because there is nothing else to do. […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 30 2013 | Curiousity, Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts, Writings
Today, I can feel myself changing. There are certain things that I have thought about today that do not bother me as much as they would have bothered me even a few weeks ago. This morning, I thought, “Maybe I’ve finally grown up.” But, I don’t even know what “grown up” means… I will never […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 25 2013 | Curiousity, Rant, Thoughts
I’ve thought a lot about shame, and the things that we do to avoid exposing our shame to the world. We lie, we trick, we cheat, we hurt others, we hate, we steal, we murder, we suicide to hide our shame. As if these bad things we do to hide our shame can ever overshadow […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 04 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Thankful Thursday, Thoughts
I am having a very difficult time today with overwhelming emotions. I feel like a disappointment to my family, I feel like I am living a pointless life, and I feel completely hopeless that I will ever be what I’m “supposed to be”. I don’t even know what I am supposed to be, other than […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 03 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
I am a Melancholic. This is my nature – to be wistful, sorrowful, morose. It is not on purpose. I do not intentionally make myself sad. It just IS. I have been this way as long as I can remember… Even as a young child, I would greet the day not with a smile, but […]
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