By Jane Tanfei|Jul 15 2014 | Thoughts
I keep forgetting who I am. This random loss of my sense of self causes me to feel deeply insecure about my place in the world. There are two definitions of insecurity: 1) uncertainty or anxiety about oneself and 2) the state of being open to danger or threat. I am subject to both of […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|May 13 2014 | Thoughts
I’ve realized that I feel some level anxiety every single day. What I also realized is that the source for this is, most often, based in thoughts of social propriety. As a person who no longer wishes to be socially propitious, this bothers me greatly. Happily, each day’s anxiety is a little easier to manage and […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Feb 19 2014 | Psychology, Thoughts
Nigh on a year ago, I vowed to myself (in the post On Shame…) that the shame in my heart was breathing its last breaths. I’ve been busting through those pockets of shame with a sledgehammer, hauling out those sharp edges that have caused me to feel broken, and patching up the holes with thoughts […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Nov 04 2013 | Curiousity, Thoughts
I’m not a hopeful person. At all. I don’t expect anything good to come to my life. I have a hard time accepting compliments. I don’t believe there is anything in the world for me but what I make for myself. I have trouble understanding why people even bother with me. Truthfully, most people don’t […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Sep 01 2013 | Curiousity, Metaphysical Discussion, Psychology, Thoughts
I belong because I do not belong. My entire life has been one long succession of exclusion, derision, and awkwardness. I have never found myself in the center of a group of people who I feel comfortable around and who are comfortable around me. There are a few reasons for this: a) I scare people […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jul 01 2013 | Psychology, Star Trek, Thoughts
I feel love. It cuts me very deeply and leaves me open and raw and feeling bereaved, yet also feeling soft and warm and comforted because that love is beautiful even as it is painful. Additionally, that love causes distress because I fluctuate between feeling tough and feeling tender. I do not allow myself vulnerability, […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 20 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Psychology, Thankful Thursday, Thoughts
I wrote the first post on this blog (Hello World…) one year and one day ago. Over the past 366 days, I’ve written a lot about myself and my struggles. My goal in starting this blog was to break through the deeply seated Silence that has blanketed my life. I feel like I have achieved my goal, […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 14 2013 | Thoughts
Friday is supposed to be the most relaxing day of the workweek. Not today, I’ll tell you. I am feeling so frustrated and upset and impotent, like I can’t do anything to help anyone and everything is going to implode. Why the hell is everyone so afraid of life? Why are we so afraid of […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 29 2013 | Curiousity, Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
I have a real knack for unintentionally pissing people off. In the past few days, I’ve been called “rude”, “a piece of shit”, “fucked up” and “obnoxious” simply because I had the audacity to speak up about a fellow human’s well-being. My intent was to make sure someone was being properly cared for, based on […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 26 2013 | Music, Thoughts, Video
These Days ~ Nico – It is one of these days. These Days by Nico I’ve been out walking I don’t do too much talking These days, these days. These days I seem to think a lot About the things that I forgot to do And all the times I had the chance to. I’ve […]
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