By Jane Tanfei|Sep 01 2013 | Curiousity, Metaphysical Discussion, Psychology, Thoughts
I belong because I do not belong. My entire life has been one long succession of exclusion, derision, and awkwardness. I have never found myself in the center of a group of people who I feel comfortable around and who are comfortable around me. There are a few reasons for this: a) I scare people […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Aug 26 2013 | Humor, Metaphysical Discussion, Psychology, Thoughts
If you know me in real life, or even if you just know me online, you know that I love nature. I, quite literally, cannot survive in the world without some connection to nature. When I stay inside for too long, I become anxious, angry, depressed, and then overwhelmed to the point where I become […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Aug 24 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
When I talk about “my true love”, I am talking specifically about a set of feelings I actually feel. By “my true love” I actually mean “this love that I feel that is true and deep”. I’m not speaking in a possessive term about a person, though the feelings are for a specific person. These […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Aug 23 2013 | Humor, Rant, Thoughts
People keep asking me if I am “dating yet”. The short answer: No. The long answer: Nope. The extensive explanation as to why dating is not a part of my life: No, I am not and will never be “dating yet”. Truth be told, I’ve only actually been on one real date – the kind […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jul 22 2013 | Thoughts
My very dear friend Suzanne passed away yesterday (July 21, 2013) after a long battle with metastasized colon cancer. She lived well beyond the 22 months her doctors predicted back in 2009, and was even in remission for awhile. In spring 2012, the cancer returned with a vengeance: growing nodules were discovered in her liver […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jul 12 2013 | Curiousity, Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
Just when I think I’ve finally learned to cope with my unyielding sadness in a healthy and permanent way, BAM it jumps on me from behind and drags me – kicking and screaming – to its dank, dark underground cave, cocoons me in webbing and hangs me from the ceiling to be eaten for lunch… Despite my […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jul 01 2013 | Psychology, Star Trek, Thoughts
I feel love. It cuts me very deeply and leaves me open and raw and feeling bereaved, yet also feeling soft and warm and comforted because that love is beautiful even as it is painful. Additionally, that love causes distress because I fluctuate between feeling tough and feeling tender. I do not allow myself vulnerability, […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 25 2013 | Humor, Music, Shameless Self-Promotion, Thoughts
This evening, I will perform live for a large group of strangers for the first time in 11 years. Strangely, I feel absolutely no nervousness. In the past, even last year while recording my album, I felt nervous and anxious about performing music. Today, I just feel happy and exuberant. I feel like today is […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 20 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Psychology, Thankful Thursday, Thoughts
I wrote the first post on this blog (Hello World…) one year and one day ago. Over the past 366 days, I’ve written a lot about myself and my struggles. My goal in starting this blog was to break through the deeply seated Silence that has blanketed my life. I feel like I have achieved my goal, […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 17 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Psychology, Thoughts
I wonder what it would be like to feel attachment to people, places, things? One of the strangest things about me is that I have very little attachment to anyone or anyplace or anything. Internally, when I feel myself begin to get too attached to someone or something, I automatically shut off those feelings because […]
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