By Jane Tanfei|Mar 10 2014 | Poetry, Thoughts
Duality and how – I am the guy in westerns With dead eyes and no regard for anything “sane”. I am the giant-eyed leather-skinned alien in UFO movies, Making clicking noises Make the skin crawl. Staring, unmoved. I am the reptilian monster, Watching from the trees, Tracking every move in the area – watching and […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Feb 13 2014 | Thoughts
In a mood of despondency, feeling a wailing and hopeless sense of despair, I decided to write down what I would need and want from a partner – if I were ever lucky enough to find one. The despair comes from the reality that there are some things about me that point to the idea […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Nov 18 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
I’ve thought a lot about what it means to be human. I’ve recently had the following revelation: I can never be a “normal human” because of my brain’s formatting. There are other humans who have a similar brain build, but I don’t know how to find common ground with them. I don’t know how to find […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Nov 04 2013 | Curiousity, Thoughts
I’m not a hopeful person. At all. I don’t expect anything good to come to my life. I have a hard time accepting compliments. I don’t believe there is anything in the world for me but what I make for myself. I have trouble understanding why people even bother with me. Truthfully, most people don’t […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Sep 30 2013 | Thoughts
The past week and a half have been quite unhappy for me. I’ve been teetering on the edge of an emotional precipice – trying to reconcile the hurtful words I receive with the kind words I receive. The negative words outweigh the kind words by default – it takes approximately 10 good thoughts to counter […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Sep 17 2013 | Dreams, Thoughts
I’ll admit it – I’m clueless when it comes to “romance”. I looked up “romance” and the only useful definition I could find was “a baseless, made-up story, usually full of exaggeration or fanciful invention.” So, I looked up “romantic” and found that it is “characterized by a preoccupation with love or by the idealizing of love or one’s beloved.” So, then I looked up “beloved”, which is “a person who is greatly loved” and “love” […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Aug 24 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
When I talk about “my true love”, I am talking specifically about a set of feelings I actually feel. By “my true love” I actually mean “this love that I feel that is true and deep”. I’m not speaking in a possessive term about a person, though the feelings are for a specific person. These […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Aug 23 2013 | Humor, Rant, Thoughts
People keep asking me if I am “dating yet”. The short answer: No. The long answer: Nope. The extensive explanation as to why dating is not a part of my life: No, I am not and will never be “dating yet”. Truth be told, I’ve only actually been on one real date – the kind […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jul 29 2013 | Thoughts
By the standards of the world, I am not beautiful. I’m too short, too buxom, too curvy, too zaftig, too hungry, too plain, too unmade, too spotty, to stretch-marked, too muscular, too natural, too uninterested, too hairy, too dark, and/or too modestly dressed. I will never be a size 0. I will never be taller […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jul 13 2013 | Metaphysical Discussion, Thoughts
Independence: freedom from the control, influence, support, aid, or the like, of others. Do I have this? Financially, I’ve been largely independent since age 17 (well, somewhat so since age 15, but still lived at home). I think the last time I borrowed money was when I was 23, a full-time student with two children, […]
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