By Jane Tanfei|Jul 27 2015 | Thoughts, Writings
I visited an Aspie forum the other day and decided to browse through the relationships section. I came across a thread entitled, “Do we have to settle?” wherein the OP suggested that anyone with an atypical brain will have to settle for an unsatisfactory life because it’s a neurotypical world. I felt somewhat strange seeing that there […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jul 15 2014 | Thoughts
I keep forgetting who I am. This random loss of my sense of self causes me to feel deeply insecure about my place in the world. There are two definitions of insecurity: 1) uncertainty or anxiety about oneself and 2) the state of being open to danger or threat. I am subject to both of […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Jun 11 2014 | Thoughts
I recently had a night on the town, the first I’ve ever actually had. It was fun overall, because I had a good time interacting with the people I was with. I admit that I had several moments of discomfort and boredom, though, because I was there to be there, not because I necessarily wanted […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|May 29 2014 | Thoughts
I have come to realize that I feel that I am bland, as compared to the rest of the world. Some of the synonyms I found for bland are: uninteresting, dull, boring, tedious, monotonous, dry, drab, dreary, wearisome, dull, unremarkable. I don’t necessarily believe that I am any of these things at all times, but […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|May 13 2014 | Thoughts
I’ve realized that I feel some level anxiety every single day. What I also realized is that the source for this is, most often, based in thoughts of social propriety. As a person who no longer wishes to be socially propitious, this bothers me greatly. Happily, each day’s anxiety is a little easier to manage and […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|May 02 2014 | Thoughts
There’s very little that gives me a feeling of dread anymore, and that is a good thing. Unfortunately, there is one specific topic that pretty much ONLY gives me dread: dating. People keep trying to goad or talk me into going on dates, or “just think about it”. I don’t want to. Leave me alone […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 21 2014 | Thoughts
I have only recently been able to recognize that I AM good enough for the world. To be sure, I still have a problem remembering this (because I’ve spent about thirty years telling myself the exact opposite thing), but I KNOW it to be true. I can say with complete honesty that the real reason […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Apr 17 2014 | Thoughts
Bring out the party hats and confetti, folks, I’ve finally MADE IT!!! I have finally been able to pull those last vestiges of the old me out of the dark, examine them and hold them to the light. And, they’ve taken on the light and held it. I’m different. I’ve become someone else, just in […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 31 2014 | Thoughts
This morning I realized that I am a kind person. I have always technically KNOWN this, but today I realized it. What I mean is, I realized that I am inherently kind and compassionate – my first thoughts when I see someone struggle aren’t thoughts of disgust or dismissal, they are thoughts of how I can […]
Continue Reading →By Jane Tanfei|Mar 27 2014 | Thoughts
I have a very hard time trying to understand the point of enduring constant struggle in life. I feel like I am struggling just to keep my head above water – always on the brink of drowning, always trying to find that last bit of strength, so tired that I am always yearning to let myself […]
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