The Business of Being – ‘Black’ Edition
All right, folks, I wasn’t going to write anything about this “race” stuff anytime soon, but there have been several conversations in the past couple of weeks that have struck a chord with me. I’ve had to explain my position thoroughly and clearly multiple times. I had decided it was just a coincidence and there was no reason to write about. Apparently, I temporarily forgot I don’t believe in coincidence. 😀
So, after the most recent interesting encounter, I have decided to describe my thoughts and feelings on this matter. If you are one of the folks I spoke with, I would like to thank you for making this opportunity possible. I mean no disrespect, and have not been offended in any way. I have, rather, learned more about how to respond to these situations.  I realize my way of thinking is not commonly accepted, but I will persist nonetheless.
Because, really, somebody needs to.
The first incident happened after a friend, speaking about the upcoming presidential election stated, “I’m not even gonna lie, I’m rooting for Obama because he’s black. ”
Now, to me, this statement is downright embarrassing. This type of attitude only serves to underscore something most people don’t want to admit: We, collectively, are not progressing. This mindset is shared by many people of all “colors”, and against one another. Though, it is only called “racism” or “bigotry” when people with lighter skin speak this way.
What would have happened if this statement was,”I’m not even gonna lie, I’m rooting for Romney because he’s white.”?
Outrage and ostracism would have occurred.
As it was, only one person had the courage to step up and point out that Obama happens to be just as “white” as he is “black”. The poster of the initial comment took this opportunity to degrade the commentator as a “white male who doesn’t know what it’s like to be discriminated against” and dismiss his opinions as if they were written by nothing more than the scum at the bottom of a pond. (If you have missed the irony here, I am writing this blog post specifically for you.)
This person then decided to bring me into the conversation, declaring that I am, “by the way, black”. (My ancestry is spectacularly varied, but as far as “race” goes, one of my parents is light and one darker skinned, so I am neither “black” nor “white”.) I thought it was peculiar that this declaration was made in a tone of victory. I am not positive of the intent, but I believe it is because the person thought that by stating this falsity as a strength to his/her argument, it would become or be accepted as truth.
Here is how I responded:
Actually, I identify myself as by name or nickname.
Here is a list of things I am, “woman, mother, silly, introspective, compassionate, caring, philosophical, respectful”. If you are going to use an adjective to describe me, please use an accurate one.
I don’t call or qualify people by inaccurate color identifiers, myself included.
This is because I recognize that a person is important because of who s/he is as a person, not because of his/her purported ancestry.
I would ask that you treat me with the same respect.
Also, if you want to get technical, my skin is a copper-colored brown while tanned and a fallow-colored brown while untanned.
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t judge yourself and identify as “black” and other people as “white” and ALSO expect not to be judged by the color of your skin. At any rate: “black” is, I am sure you’ve noticed, NOT the color of your skin.
Though, skin tone should not matter in the least for any type of judgments or identifications.
If you want things to change, you must also have the courage and presence of mind to change things.
Also, you do not understand what it is like to be put down as a “white male” as you just, in a contradictory manner, did to someone else.
Neither do you know what it is like to be degraded for being mentally deficient, poverty-stricken, physically handicapped, obese, gay, Muslim, or a plethora of any negative judgments people like to make based on physical appearance alone.
You might want to remember this as you are making sweeping and self-righteous judgments in this manner.
I’m going to point out a few holes in your argument, in case you wish to debate me on the finer points of “race”:
1) You use the term “white male” as a negative identifier. Yet, you use the terms “black” and “white” that some past “white males” created in an attempt to classify other people [as lesser beings].
2) You use “black” and “white” freely, but likely do not use “red” and “yellow” as identifiers. Why is this? All four of these identifiers are the exact same level of offensive, yet two are acceptable and two are not.
3) You have ancestors who are “black”, “white”, “red”, and “yellow”. Biologically, you are a mixture of many “races”, not just the two you claim.
4) Likewise, you cannot be both “biracial” AND “black”. It doesn’t work that way. If you are going to deny more than half (closer to 3/4, really that is known) of your ancestry, do not claim the rest of it only when it suits you.
5) Finally, did you know that “black” and “white” both have the distinction of being defined as “presence of all colors” AND “absence of all colors”, depending on the color scale?
This is a very poignant thing, because it shows us that black cannot exist without white and white cannot exist without black. They are one.
We are all one race – human. If you are going to pick and choose which parts of humanity are “good”, then you are no better than one you would call a “racist”.
Some other recent events that only served to solidify my stance on this subject include:
- – A person who was upset that a comedian referred to his/her “race” in a joke, even though the joke also poked fun at several other groups of people.
- – I read an article detailing why Obama as a president is great, specifically because of his looks. However, the same article spent much time degrading people of lighter skin tones. I responded to the writer and flat out said that this article was a failure, because if you want acceptance as you are, you must also accept others as they are.
- – In a brief conversation about names, someone was trying to console me about my dislike in my own given name by stating that s/he knows several people by that name who “are all African-American”. I really don’t see what that has to do with anything, other than this person thought I didn’t like my name because of how I look? I don’t know. Either way, I said I consider myself to be American.
- – A woman who had the courage to speak at the Republican Convention was called several very disparaging and disgusting names because she also happens to have brown skin.
- – People keep commenting about how “blacks” and “minorities” need government assistance to live their lives. Generalize much, folks? To insist that anyone who is not “white” is dependent on the government and so this is why we need big government is, just, well… biased. I know you all have the best intentions, but you need to give people some credit. You need to help people to succeed on their own terms, not help them to be dependent on everyone else for their success. Do you all really not understand that it is demeaning to be on welfare? Do you all really not understand that most people want to work for their own money? I can’t do anything but double facepalm and try to get people to see the error of this type of reasoning.
I firmly believe that we are only what we allow ourselves to be, and are only limited by our self-imposed limitations.
When people automatically call me “African-American”, I state that I am American. When people call me “black”, I tell them that I do not use terms like that and prefer to be referred to by name.
I am going to change things, regardless of whether anyone else has the guts or perseverance to do so. My children will not learn to judge or identify others by colors. They already know that people are important because they are people – no matter what they look like.
If we as a nation refuse to do this together, I will do it alone.
“I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.” – MLK, Jr.