The Mourning of Suzanne…
My very dear friend Suzanne passed away yesterday (July 21, 2013) after a long battle with metastasized colon cancer. She lived well beyond the 22 months her doctors predicted back in 2009, and was even in remission for awhile. In spring 2012, the cancer returned with a vengeance: growing nodules were discovered in her liver and lungs.
They gave her six months to live at that time, yet she persisted and lived more than a year. It has only be in these past two months that it was apparent she would not survive much longer. It was only in this past 5 days that she declined dramatically – I visited with her on Wednesday, but when I saw her on Saturday, she was incapable of speech and barely able to move her arms or nod her head. I had the idea I’d go see her on Sunday afternoon, but then received the call she had passed away in her sleep. She was only 57 years old. She leaves behind three brothers, two sons & their partners, and four grandchildren (the youngest of whom is not yet born).
Suzanne was (literally) a second mother to me. Granted, I can’t say our relationship was always happy-go-lucky… because it wasn’t. (This is the same friend I wrote about in Thankful Thursday – June 13th, 2013, and my anger did quickly dissipate.) Our friendship was formed nearly ten years ago, when we became relatives by marriage. And, even though things weren’t always great (as it goes with relatives who are also your friends), I still cared a lot about her. We helped each other in the ways we could, and she even lived with me until last month, when she was admitted to an assisted living facility.
She was usually very upbeat and happy, though decidedly stubborn about certain things. She changed a lot over the course of our friendship; became more open-minded and willing to think beyond her pre-formed ideals. I enjoyed having discussions with her and spending time with her. She was a nice lady and cared about her fellow humans, even at her own expense. Even in her final days, she comforted her family members and tried her best to let them know how much she loved them.
I am glad and thankful that I had a chance to know her, and I am glad I have happy memories of her. I am sad that she died so young. I am sad that the youngest grandchild will never get to meet her grandmother. I am sad that her other young grandchildren have lost their grandmother. I am sad that Suzanne’s sons (though grown) are orphans. I am sad that she was sad and scared and lonely sometimes. I am glad, though, that she found some peace in the end, that she found solace in the idea that she’d get to see her mother again.
Of course, I consider my own mortality and how precious it is. I don’t know how I used to be so indifferent to the idea that I’ve been given a beautiful life to live. I realize now that there is always something to be happy and hopeful about, even in the darkest of times.
Thank you, Suzanne, for your life and love.