Thinking, Thankful Thursday – Jan 3rd 2013
First post of the new calendar year.
A lot of people are starting new lifestyle changes at this time of year because they want the new year to start fresh. I can see some value in this mindset, but I also see that people who are changing their lives only as a “resolution” are likely to fail. Granted, I’m sure there are people who have successfully changed their entire futures based on a New Year Resolution… I just don’t think it’s a particularly common occurrence.
I don’t make resolutions at the beginning of the calendar year, because I don’t think there is anything different about January 1st than any other day of the year. Essentially, I feel like if I am going to change my life, I’d better change it ASAP, not just when the calendar changes.
I feel like time rolls through my life, but my life is the constant, not time. From this perspective, it doesn’t matter what time it is – my life can always be changed or fixed if I have the courage and tenacity to change it.
I firmly believe that we make mistakes because we are supposed to learn from them. I learn from my failures by being honest with myself. When I asked myself “Why couldn’t I stick to that eating regimen?” the answer was, “Because it was unrealistic and you didn’t truly want to eat that way.” And, it’s true. I am not someone who does well following certain diets or exercise plans. My body doesn’t respond particularly well to standardized routines because I am not a standardized human. None of us are standardized humans. Yet, we all get the idea that if we follow a set of rules we will somehow become a standardized or “better” version of ourselves.
I think it’s time for us to let go of what we believe society expects of us. That “perfection” we seek is false because it has been generated by pretense and is purely negative in its affect on our psyches.
An example would be the thought, “I want to lose weight so other people will like me.”
If you’ve ever thought this, I would ask you: Does losing weight make you a better person? Will people like you more as a person just because you seem thinner?
I would say that the answer is a resounding NO. This is because you are a person with a personality and people like you because of how you treat others, not how you look. Your true friends don’t care what you look like; they love you because you’re awesome.
So, you’re losing weight because you’re looking for romance instead of friendship? Well, what will happen to your new relationship when you become comfortable and resume your old habits? Will that great new partner still care about you when you gain some weight back? Or, will s/he ditch you because you no longer “look good”?
I propose that the problem isn’t how you look, it is how you feel.
My lifetime goal is to feel good about myself. It has nothing to do with weight or pant size or any other superficial changes. I want to feel good about myself as a person, like who I am, and be comfortable in my skin no matter what size it happens to be. I don’t want to be insecure. I don’t want to feel timid about voicing my opinion. I don’t want to feel obligated to pretend to be someone I am not. I want to be Me, and I want to be the true Me, not the fake me that the rules say is acceptable.
I am thankful for being unacceptable to western society, because this means I have much more time for self-improvement on my own terms.
I am thankful for the opportunities that have come my way so far in my life and thankful that I am confident that I will have more opportunity to change my life for the better.
I am thankful for the mental changes I have already accomplished and I am thankful that I now realize how to continue to change my negativity into positivity.
I am thankful to be alive and that every moment brings me a new chance to change for the better.
This moment is the only one that matters.