Just Be.
The thing that is bothering me today is the sexualization of females.
It is disheartening, disturbing, and disgusting to me.
I look at female musicians and a large majority of them choose to post images of themselves scantily-clad, in provocative and suggestive poses, with “come hither” looks on their faces.
It’s so frustrating.
I understand that they want to sell records, but are they also selling their bodies? Do they not care about how they are perceived as long as there is money coming in from the record? I can’t understand how this has become acceptable – when it became a necessity to be nearly naked on an album cover to sell music? Shouldn’t your skill be what sells the music?
Granted, I can see record labels pimping out their auto-tuned and skill-challenged starlets because they know, without a doubt, that they can sell X number of records to hormonal teens who don’t care about anything but the album cover… But, are people really so desperate for attention that they will do anything (ANYTHING?) to gain fame?
I know that the answer is, “Yes”, but I don’t want it to be.
I want girls and women to recognize that they are worthy of love and attention and renown by being themselves.
I want all of us to Just Be.
Where does this pressure to conform and undress and become sultry come from? Who says that we all have to act the same? Why are we expected to pander to male fantasies?
I don’t understand why women find it acceptable to be nothing more than an easily-replaced shell to be slobbered over.
Why isn’t it important to people to be accepted for their personalities and thoughts and feelings?
I don’t understand.
I DON’T UNDERSTAND.
It makes me angry when I hear feminists going on about the objectification of women in the media, blaming all of these problems on the men behind the cameras. For some reason, they want to glaze over the fact that the women pictured had signed contracts and stood around for hours to get the desired affect – willingly and without coercion! Why is the responsibility for this ridiculous portrayal of females only cast upon men? These women who feel perfectly all right with this objectification are just as responsible as anyone else.
Why has it become the television’s job to teach young girls how to be women? Why aren’t mothers stepping up and guiding their daughters to have self-respect and that their minds are as attractive as their bodies? Why are mothers afraid to break out of that stereotype of physical superficiality and show their daughters that it is OK to Just Be who you are?
It makes me sad and angry. It makes me fear for the well-being of my own young daughter. I do not want her to grow up feeling inferior or unattractive unless she dresses immodestly and acts seductively.
I’ve seen very young girls wearing makeup and halter-tops and speaking in language they should not know to try to attract attention… I want to weep. I want to take those little girls and hug them and tell them that they are beautiful as they were born, that they are perfect as they are.
I remember that I was always very insecure about my body and looks when I was young. People would tell me, “oh, you’re beautiful!” in the same breath as they’d say something like, “you’re a little thick around the thighs, though.” What the heck is that even supposed to mean? How is a young girl supposed to feel beautiful when every compliment is automatically paired with a criticism?
I know that, for me, I took the criticism as the real truth of any comment. I would automatically discard any positive commentary and focus on what was “wrong” with my appearance. I can’t help my body type or skin type or hair type. But, I began to resent all these things because, in my mind, they were imperfect. I wasn’t beautiful – I was just an unfashionable, fat, ugly girl with skin too dark, un-yellow and unprocessed hair, a smile too big, skirts too long, too many smarts, not enough skin showing, an unsqueaky voice, and a socially awkward demeanor. Even if I changed myself to fit all of the stereotypes, it would all be fake, there would not be any “self” left. I could never be beautiful.
I hated myself.
When I grew into a teenager, it became worse. As a young woman with an hourglass figure who attended college classes, I felt insulted and offended when men would come up to me to ask for my phone number. The conversation was usually something like, “Hey, I’ve seen you around, you look good. Can I call you sometime?” Wherein I would make an excuse about not having a phone and pretty much run away from these [creepy] males. For some reason, I never told them that I was only 16 or 17, I just made some excuse and tried to get away from them.
I was offended and insulted because these ridiculous “men” clearly only wanted to speak to me because they liked my body. They didn’t care about my personality or my mind or how weird or funny or philosophical or loving I am. All they thought when they saw me was, “Yeah, I’d do her.”
That thought disgusts me.
Why is this acceptable?
Why do women accept and condone this behavior?
I don’t understand this.
I can’t understand this.
The only thing I can do is talk to people, let people know that it is OK to be who you are.
It is OK to be dorky and silly and funny and goofy.
It is OK to be gawky and pimply and unfashionable.
It’s OK not to be promiscuous.
It’s OK to just want to be friends.
It’s OK to say, “No” to people and suggestions that make you uncomfortable.
It is OK to Just Be.
I love you, dear friend, just as you are.
Just Be You.