Unsatisfied Smooching
I had a dream the other night I was kissing a man I wasn’t attracted to. I’ve mentioned before that my dreams are very vivid and realistic. It’s as if I’m awake and actually there.
To set the scene: I was working at a large used car lot. There were a lot of workers, and we were assembling a new promotional that included a herd of animatronic dinosaurs. Some of the people were riding around on the backs of the dinosaurs, and we were having a bbq while we worked. Everyone was having a lot of fun.
I was me in the dream, but I was a version of me who was actively trying to date random people. One of the animatronics engineers was a person I’d been talking to online. We recognized each other and got to talking while watching people ride the dinosaurs.
The man wasn’t attractive to me at all. I mean he was okay looking in a superficial sense, but I felt no attraction to him. He was really hyper-active and talked very fast. He was talking about something, expressing a lot of over-judgmental opinions. I was holding a push-broom, thinking about how his hat and white overalls were really annoying to me, and then he stepped closer and put his arm around my hips.
Here, I realized I was dreaming, because I had an in-dream but real-life memory of feeling dreadfully obligated to kiss people who are trying to kiss me. In the dream, I mentally grimaced and let him kiss me even though I didn’t want to.
I tried to enjoy it, I really did, but it was just bland. I was actually staring past him at some cars traveling down the highway, feeling bored. I remember his lips were soft and his cheek was pleasantly scruffy, but his personal smell wasn’t attractive to me at all. He was giving me gentle little closed-mouth kisses, which should have been nice, because I remembered in the dream that I used to like kisses like that when I got them from the one guy I was attracted to.
I figured maybe if I slipped him some tongue, I might actually enjoy the kiss… but he wouldn’t let me. I felt really disappointed and grossed out all around, and remembered exactly why I have no interest in trying to date.
I woke up with a renewed sense of “Fuck you people who think I need to let random men touch me because that’s what normal people do.”
That’s really all I have to say about it.